It can take years of therapy to disrupt your relationship with money.
For me, overhearing tense financial conversations between my mother and father as a child caused me to throw up a wall when my husband initiated money conversations, or I simply avoided them. I’m a work in progress, but recognizing the source of my anxiety has made all the difference.
Aja Evans, a certified therapist specializing in financial therapy, knows all about that dance. Her mission: to help people dig inside to understand the roots of how their finances trigger their emotions, learn to change those behaviors, and manage their money with poise and tenacity.
In her new book, “Feel Good Finance: Untangle Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being,” Evans deftly explores how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directly impact the way we handle our finances.
Here’s what Evans had to say about how recognizing the psychological power of money in our lives can prepare us for financial success in a conversation with Yahoo Finance’s Kerry Hannon. Edited excerpts:
Kerry Hannon: Who is this book for?
Aja Evans: My target audience is women, because they are often socialized not to talk about money and grew up without the information. They live their lives and go to work every day and feel weird about their money and don’t understand why they don’t know how to invest the way they think they should, or why it’s sometimes hard to get their money to keep under control. budget.
Read more: Budgeting: Your Complete Guide to Budgeting for 2024
One little thing that came up early in the book is how we deal with forms of money between the ages of 7 and 9. Can you explain this?
Research shows that this is the age range in which people really form their money beliefs. What you believe about money and how you feel about it, you learn as you get older from the people around you. It could be your parents, various relatives, school friends. That’s when you start formulating the foundation of your money beliefs that can then potentially carry you through adulthood.
You give an example of a woman who skimped on her savings and was afraid to even buy a car for herself. What was that all about?
Her household was unstable growing up, and holding on to her money gave her security and made it difficult to spend the money when she really needed something.
How did you help her recognize it and make changes?
We have worked to realize that she can spend this money and still be stable. She didn’t have to give up all her savings. If you can afford to buy the car, it’s also about stability. It changed her perspective on what stability can look like. Yes, you have the money. You have enough money for your emergency fund, but you also have enough money to buy the car. And that also ensures that you are safe, that you are stable, that you can get started.